The Art of Deflection

Deflection - Teflon-ing our short comings

Deflecting is like a game of mental gymnastics, in which we turn any form of criticism back on the one pointing out our short comings. It is a art form in those who have mastered it, taking honest criticisms and turning it back on the speaker.

It's deadly to all close personal relationships.

Deflection preserves our mental self image, even if it is very different, from reality.

15 bullet proof deflections

1. "But My Intentions Are Good. Don't They Count For Anything?" When criticized for our actions we can change the subject to our intentions, which are un-measurable, and unassailable, and, if not connected to our current actions, ... completely irrelevant.
(This one is a favorite of politicians in the Church and out)

2. "Disqualified Speaker-ism" Claim receptivity, but only to those observations delivered by someone's of unattainably high standards.

Calmly refuse to budge and then when one's challenger gets frustrated change the subject to his hotheaded reaction. This will make him more hotheaded making it easy to call even more attention to his reaction. Thus proving his disqualification's, and your genius.

3. " The martyr syndrome" Suffer ignominiously at a challenger's criticism. Then vehemently explain your own behavior as being singly and virtuously motivated. For example, "Look , I was trying to minister to those who are in need."

This also paints all those who are against you as misguided tools in the hands of the devil.

4. "The Rodney King" : In a win/lose competition, accuse the competitor of being selfish. "Why can't we get along?" meaning actually, "do it my way." Or quote " How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" ... with unity being defined as everyone doing it your way.

5. "Exempt By Morality": Claim that since you find a trait disgusting, you must not have that trait. For example: "Me selfish?! Impossible! I hate selfish people!"

6. "How Dare You Compare Me To..." If challenged for behaving as badly as some known malefactors, rather than considering the comparison on its merits, act as though there could be no parallel because there's some assumed world of difference between the behaviors of good people like you, and bad people like them.

7. "Swallow a Camel and strain at a Nat": Profess loudly and repeatedly of holding an absolute morally high standard, then ignore it and do anything you like.

8. "Selective Literal-ism": Attack others for their tone, but when you talk, deny tone has anything to do with it.

9. "Hide behind the Bill of Rights": Accuse a challenger of denying freedom of speech : "I'm sorry I spoke my mind. Next time I'm with you I'll know better and silence myself."

10. "Equality as subterfuge": Appeal to a pretend concept, that everyone shares equal blame for all problems. When accused of a problem that is largely your fault, say, "It's 50/50, so what about you? You're not perfect! We both contributed equally to the problem." then launch into an eloquent discourse on their failings.

"There is enough guilt to spread around to all who are involved." Deflection, refusing to be held accountable, refusing to shoulder any blame.

11. "Transforming Vice into Virtue": For example, "I'm not being stubborn. I'm sticking to my principles."

12. Misread the Criticism: Distort the case against you so it sounds totally cruel and unreasonable. For example, when challenged for dominating a conversation, say, "Right so I'm like the next Mass murder."

13. Minutia And highfalutin... To evade a challenge, focus on minute details or high-concept generalities on either side of a challenge. If called to task for doing a bad job at work, "zoom in" to talk about the tiny problems that got in the way ("but the paperclips didn't arrive on time!"), or "zoom way out" to talk about how it's hard in this world to know anything for certain. Concentrate on any scale of analysis other than the one on which the challenge itself is being leveled.

Intentionally drive your car into one of the ditches on either side of the road. The idea is create such a massive wreck that your frail ego can escape in the confusion with out any damage or you having to admit any wrong doing. Ignore the additional damage you will be creating to those around you, Head for the ditch.

14. Mind-Reading Rights: Cite a pretend rule that everyone always knows their own feelings and thoughts better than anyone else does. Accuse the challenger of moral trespassing: "Don't tell me what I feel!"

15. First-strike Advantage: Be the first to challenge. That way when they challenge back, you can dismiss it as unfair retaliation.


Did you chuckle? Did you think about someone, or a recent conversation?

I cried!

The problem is we all do it to some extent or another. It is a part of the Adamic nature that we inherited from our father Adam:

" I didn't do it, it was the woman You gave me!"
Everybody but Adam was wrong, ... Even God.


How about ... "I have sinned, I was wrong, forgive me?"

Any problem that we own we can fix.

But you can't fix it if you never own up to owning it.

Deflection - will keep you from changing, growing, and becoming all that God has called you to become.

Look into the mirror of His word ...
Own what you see ...
Confess it ...
Repent if you must, then ...
Change it.

Deflection makes for fractured relationships, lonely old men, and a life filled with fear. Pull the mask off, set yourself free to become.

Deflection - Teflon- ing our consciences...
Damming our Souls!

Lm



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