"When you see people in a religious system being secretive - watch out. People don't hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate.
One reason spiritually abusive families and churches are secretive is because they are so image conscience. People in these systems can"t even live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real.
Another reason for secrecy in a church is that the leadership has a condescending, negative view of the laity. This results in conspiracies on the leadership level. They tell themselves "People are not mature enough to handle truth." This is patronizing at best. Conspiracies also develop among the lay people.
Since it is not all right to notice or talk about problems, people form conspiracies behind closed doors and over the telephone as they try to solve things informally. But since they have no authority, they solve, and solve, and solve - but nothing really gets solved. And all the while, building God"s true kingdom is put on hold."
Dave Johnson, Subtle power of spiritual abuse. pg 78
Spiritual abuse can happen in any church, just as physical abuse can happen in any marriage. But lets not throw the baby out with the bath water.
Christ used the analogy of the marriage union to typlify Christ and the church. When everything is in balance it show the beauty of His redemptive plan for fallen man.
lm
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